I loved her but she struggled so much

“I was in my early 20’s, and it involved a girl who I traveled across the globe to be with in Brazil, for a period of time. I met her while traveling, and I remember it was literally love at the first sight. I guess I was young and blind to it all, but she had a darkness side to her, and she struggled a lot with cocaine addiction, which would end up sucking me into her life for close to two years. I can tell you being across the globe while someone you love battles substance abuse, it breaks you down mentally and emotionally. It changed a large part of who I was, and taught me a lot about people’s reasoning for drug addiction. To feel so powerless while wanting to help someone I loved dearly was the worst part, not knowing if they would die any day from an overdose.

After many months, she did in fact overdose but survived. There was a three months period when it was the most emotionally damaging time of my life. Of course people could say, ‘Why involve yourself with this emotional pain and torture?’ But when you are madly in love, logical things don’t matter. You constantly make excuses for their behaviour, and much like a drug; if the love is strong enough, it sucks you in, and after a while you can’t live without it. They say heartbreak is a lot like drug withdrawals, and after seeing both sides I agree.

Over time my love faded, and my patience grew thin. She made it to Australia for a number of months, however she returned to Brazil, and slipped back into her drug use. From there it ended, and I moved on with my life. I became an emotionally stronger person than before I met her. That’s it. At the end of the day, in any situations in life, it is the lessons you learn and how it shapes who you are; you can choose to let it destroy you, or let it mould you into a better person.

I don’t hear much from her these days, but I believe she found God, and can only assume it’s keeping her on the right path. I learned a lot about love and relationships as a result of that. Of course I still have come unstuck on a couple of relationships afterward, but these are the lessons and experiences that truly make the special times in life. When it all goes well, it means so much more, and makes you more appreciative of people who love you the way you are.

I turned my attention to Couch Surfing after that. Now, I offer a bed to travelers in exchange for ideas, thoughts, conversation, and good company. The people I’ve met over the years have allowed me to get a greater understanding of myself and the world. To those people I’ve hosted, and who have left a lasting impression, I thank you!”


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