Look at what is in front of you, not what’s ahead

“Bad things happened in your life, but great things are always next. People never focus on the great, and I hate that. I don’t understand why people easily get bored in relationship, and love changing partner. OK, sex can get bored after a while, but you have to do things to change it around. But how about the connection with that person? It’s more than just one night stand, or the sexual encounter you can have. Cuz that person is a part of you.

My life was meant to break down few years ago, in fact I never really say it. And my past brings me pain every year. When I was 14, my parents divorced. My mum met another man, but she eventually break down emotionally, and went to the mental institute, cuz my step dad is a bad guy. The year after, I started working for my father. And at the same time, taking care of the three new born from my step dad and mum. Taking care of my younger brother and sisters was the happiest moment in my life. However, when I was 17, I was raped in a public toilet and stuck there for three hours, with no feeling from my waist down, crawling on the floor to get out and call an ambulance. It was hard for me every year for a day, but I’m thankful it happened on me, not to other young kids. I can’t imagine what it could be, if the victim was another kids like 9 or 10 years old. But yeah, you have no choice, you just deal with it, with the best you can. That time my mum was back home, but she found me falling apart.

Six months ago, I broke up with my 5-years partner. It was all the trauma to me. I totally changed into a different person. The time we broke up, I drove 35 hours non-stop for a 3-days trip. No sooner after that, I met Anna, and she moved me into New Castle. Here, I love the place. Now, I need to start life again. I used to be a confident person. No job was too small nor big for me.

When I was 17, my dad promoted me at work as I found out the financial guy stole money from the company, and I had helped him turning his business into 370% growth. I started with taking care of 1 branch, and later it turned into 13 branches at the end. Five years later when I quitted the job, my dad had to hire 8 people to do the job I was doing. I used to earn 320 thousands to half a million a year, but I worked like crazy. I have multiple houses, cars, multiple everything. But later, I realize money can’t buy me things that I am happy with. I have no time for anyone, no quality of life at all. This year, when I was with my younger sister on her birthday for the first time in 6 years, she bursted into tears when she saw me. Now, I’m living the poorest life ever, but I’m the happiest. I don’t care about big house and all that stuff. I’ll be fine. I don’t want the things I wanted before. I just wanna spend time with the one I care. My nan always said to me before she passed away, ‘Look at what is in front of you, not what’s ahead’. It’s all about connection.”