I loved him

“I wanna share my story in Sweden. I fell in love with a Russian guy who moved to Sweden at the age of 7. He was an undergrad when we met. He was a wonderful guy, and we spent 9 months together. I wanted to stay as long as I want, just because I loved him so much. I told him a lot about Hong Kong, because I wanted him to come to live with me here. I had not had any good chance to work in Sweden, as I couldn’t speak any Swedish at all. The only work I could do there, was to be a dish washer in a chinese restaurant. But I didn’t want to be like that, because I am an accountant, and I didn’t want to waste my education. So, I used up all my savings there without earning a penny, but just for staying together with him.

In early February 2013, I made a difficult decision to leave Sweden. I needed money, and I wanted to work here in Hong Kong, but I had my love there in Sweden. He showed me his interest to come to Hong Kong, so I kept my heart for him. That year, he had a chance to be an exchange student in Hong Kong for 6 months. And yet, he suddenly told me he met another girl. I was really sad and angry. Was this whole thing a lie? But later when I thought back; I had sacrificed and done so much for him and was that worth it?

Now, I don’t have any stable relationship. I’m 30 now, and some of my friends have married. Of course I wanna get marry, I don’t want children, I just wanna get marry. I just wanna have a man who will love me whole-heartedly. I don’t wanna rely on a man. But it’s difficult to have such a man here in Hong Kong.

In this experience, I have learned that I am quite a blind girl when I fall in love. If I would give any advice to any girl in this kind of situation, I would say, don’t overcompensate to your man. Don’t go all the way for your man. I know it’s easy to say, but hard to do, and love is blind. But try to stay clear. I think the biggest enemy of a girl is loneliness. But if you ask me if I have anything to say to this man, I would say, ‘I hate you, but still, I love you.’ I would.”